What Would You Do If You Got Locked Inside The Beer Cooler At The Store? This Hero Started Drinking

WISN — A man who found himself trapped inside a convenience store’s beer cooler when it automatically closed and locked after selling time helped himself to some of the product, police said. Jeremy Van Ert, 38, of Marshfield, faces a retail theft charged and was behind bars Thursday on a probation hold. Authorities said Van Ert went into a Kwik Trip store on Tuesday night just before beer sales ended at midnight. When the clock struck 12, the cooler closed and Van Ert was locked inside. “The subject found himself locked in the beer cooler, knew that Kwik Trip would not sell him any beer, so he decided to remain in the beer cooler,” Marshfield Police Chief Rick Gramza told WAOW-TV. “A customer came by the beer cooler at about 6 a.m. and saw him inside.” According to the police report, Van Ert drank an 18 ounce bottle of Icehouse Beer and three cans of Four Loko. He also fell over a stack of 30 pack Busch Light Cans.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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That chant and those gifs don’t fit here but they also fit perfectly here. What a hero. 6 hours of drinking by himself. That must’ve been so peaceful. He’s probably got a wife and three stupid kids and responsibilities but all he wanted to do was drink in silence. Getting “accidentally” locking in a beer cooler is the perfect solution. Not to mention this is a true display of patriotism. Don’t tread on me. Don’t tell us when we can and can’t drink beer. I couldn’t be more on this guy’s side. The supposed criminal is correct no matter how you slice it. By the sound of the article, the store stops selling beer at midnight. That’s wrong. That should be way more illegal than “accidentally” locking yourself in a beer cooler and boozing it up. Beer sales should go until 4am. Hell, beer sales should be 24/7 actually. Why are we putting a cap on when beer can be consumed? Seems dumb. That’s basically prohibition (not really but whatever). All I’m saying is this guy did exactly what all of us would’ve done in this scenario. We’re proud of him.