A Bunch Of Guys Get Trampled By Cows For Good Luck In India

Hindustan Times- A bizarre ritual in India sees scores of men volunteering to get trampled by cows and bulls in order to wipe off their troubles and bless them with happiness and prosperity. The century-old ritual followed by Hindu men takes place every fortnight of the month in Ujjain in central India. And despite knowing the dangers involved, hundreds of men travel all the way to the city to lay down on ground as cows and bulls are let loose. The herds then hurtle down the narrow streets, passing over the men, crushing their backs badly. While many men get gravely injured, devotees believe as their injuries will recover, their luck will grow too.

Superstition is a tricky topic. People subscribe to all kinds of kooky practices in trying to turn their fortunes around. The Chinese believe that the number 8 is lucky simply because the word for “8” in China sounds like the word for “luck.” In Britain, people will say the word “rabbit” on the first day of the month before climbing out of bed. The French believe that stepping in shit with your left foot will summon good fortune. And in India, it appears that laying oneself down in front of a herd of trampling cows could lead to good tidings. Who knew!

Well, we know. We know that this is not a good idea. Those cows are not tapdancing over those bodies. They’re not pussyhoofing over those tibias and quads. I’m all for a nice, firm massage; lord knows I always ask for the hardest setting at my rub and tug. But the only thing that is sure to increase for these gentlemen is their insurance premium. Who knows, maybe the women were impressed? Maybe they bone the guy with the most shattered bones? If you’re lucky enough to find a man who walks with a limp from the time that cow stepped through his femur, lock him down for life.

I understand that cows are sacred in India. But avoiding hamburgers seems like a much better way for that luck to rub off on you. Move it or milk it, lady!

PS- I want to go to India so badly.