Advertisement

Rikers Is Giving Free Pizza To Prisoners That Don't Commit Acts Of Violence

party

NY Post- The city’s newly named correction commissioner is following in the footsteps of her disgraced predecessor — treating Rikers Island inmates to pizza parties in a bid to reduce violence one slice a time. A photo snapped last week and provided to The Post shows more than two dozen pizzas being wheeled into the Otis Bantum Correctional Center, which houses the city’s 400 worst prisoners in its “Central Punitive Segregation Unit.”

So this story is gaining traction in New York today. People are upset because they don’t think prisoners should be rewarded for choosing not to pound each others brains in or something. I guess I could see the downside in rewarding inmates for not being complete monsters.

But I also can’t hate on people getting a pizza party. Easily Top 1 day of the year during the school year, especially if the pizza party took place right before a holiday. That was like throwing gasoline on the dopamine fire for kids. A surprise movie day or a substitute teacher dropping from the heavens was nice. But being able to plan out your #Mailtime with some pizza and soda (unless your principal was a pussy and only allowed juice) was the best. The older you get, the more you realize that many parts of Michael Scott’s managing was actually good. Because you know the Party Planning Committee definitely threw multiple pizza parties back in the day for even the smallest sale or whenever Michael just really, really wanted pizza.

Now let me say that the worst of the worst criminals don’t get any pizza. Murderers, rapists, guys caught with child porn. They don’t get a crumb. They get to smell the pizza, but not eat it, which makes it extra fucked up. However, there are people in Rikers that may not be bad. All I can think of is poor Naz from The Night Of never touching pizza again in his life if that dude from Road Trip never shows up out of the blue at the end of the series.

And it’s not like these prisoners were getting pizza from a place that registered a 9.4 on the One Bite scale.

The pizza came from a nearby Domino’s in Queens, and taxpayers regularly cover the cost of serving pizza to prisoners in other facilities at the violence-plagued jail complex as well, sources said.

All this hub bub is over prisoners getting free DOMINO’S?!?! I’m on the record saying that Domino’s isn’t even technically pizza. It’s Domino’s. If you want pizza, you go somewhere else. If you want Cheesy Bread, Lava Cakes, or pizza shaped bread, cheese, and sauce, you go to Domino’s. But these jailbirds are just getting a taste of what freedom could taste like.


Patrick Ferraiuolo, president of the Correction Captains’ Association, also said the door-to-door delivery violated the rules at the infamous lock-up. “Since when is bringing food in from the outside not considered contraband?” Ferraiuolo fumed. “It’s not jail food that’s part of the everyday menu.”

Alright lets take it easy Patty Cakes. Nobody is shanking each other with crust or anything. And maybe just maybe the promise of free pizza will stop guards and inmates from being carried out on a stretcher. After all, pizza is love.


click pic to buy