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I Love This British News Anchor Who Doesn't Give A Shit About The Royal Baby Announcement

Finally. Finally someone from the UK sees eye-to-eye with me on the Royal Family. Nobody carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrres. Up until this point I seemed to be the only person with the balls to stand up to this faux (pronounced fox) family. No one had joined in on the chorus and certainly no one from the other side of the pond. This UK news anchor is the first defector and I’m proud of him. Honestly though, I bet a lot of people feel the way that news anchor feels but pretending to care about the Royal Family is what British people have always done so they keep doing it. It’s part of the culture to pretend to care about people simply because their sperm pushed through.

Here’s the thing though. If the Royal Family actually had any power they’d have that news anchor’s head on a stake by sundown. They wouldn’t tolerate this. They’d have him tarred and feathered to make an example out of him. They’d make him do the Cersei Lannister walk through the streets of London. But they won’t cause they hold no power whatsoever. They are a joke. Everything they do is a joke. The Royal Family dresses up in Halloween costumes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That’s their existence. They don’t know they’re a joke cause they’re blinded by all the people pretending to care about them but they’re a joke. You know what? Prove me wrong, Royal Family. Make that news anchor disappear. Prove that you’re something more than nothing.