Is This Dried Pear Slice Tryin To Get The Pipe?


Fellas, you know I love dehydrated fruit. The dryer the better I say. Love it. If I’m trying to eat a healthy snack and I reach my hand in the bag and pull this bad boy out, what am I supposed to do? I know what I wanna do but I’m not sure it’s right.

I wanna throw on some H-Town Knockin The Boots and get down. I love eating fruit to the soundtrack of the early 90s. Whether it be Keith Sweat, H-Town or the fellas in Silk, I’m eating fruit with a passion.

“Chaps, kinda seems like you are talking about cunnilingus and not actually about eating fruit.”

To this music? Buddy,,, I would never.

Anyway, I love the salty sweetness of a dehydrated pear. The pear is primed and ready to eat. Now, some say that you only lick the rim of the pear. I disagree. You gotta get all in there. Lick the whole thing. The sweetest spot is in the center! You can eat the seed when you are done but I dont recommend that but dont judge people who do. I will admit that if you lick it too long it gets all soggy and whatnot. Gross! You can have little crumbs of pear all in your beard when you are done. Some like that. Some dont. I do!