We Had A MASSIVE Halal Cart Brawl In Brooklyn Last Night

NY Post- A brawl caught on video Sunday night shows a group of men and halal-cart workers pummeling each other on a busy Brooklyn street corner.

The fight erupted at the corner of 5th Avenue and 86th Street in Bay Ridge around 11:30 p.m.

The video shows several men punching a cook as he is lying on the sidewalk trying to defend himself while a fellow worker tries to break things up.

Some of the men were seen driving off in a white Mercedes.

Police did not immediately have any information on the incident.

We have a street meat fight, folks! This one was pretty nasty too. You can hear the thuds of fists smacking off skulls in the early going. This scene:

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That’s painful. Guy on the ground in black, part of the Halal cart gang, is getting it from all angles. Pretty impressive that he stood up and wrestled after this. For sure thought he was dead.

Then things settled down for a while. Seemed like it was over. The original “attackers” (not sure who started this) cross the street, and the Halal cart guys were left to lick their wounds, and probably the food they’re cooking for the rest of the night. This shorter, stockier gentleman is PISSED, as evidenced by when he slaps the halal cart. Don’t take it out on the cart, man!

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And just when you think the melée has subsided, just when you think it’s safe to head home…

ROUND 2!!! DING DING DING! It’s jumping off again at 1:27!! Talk about after burners. Where did this fucking guy come from? Was he part of the original gang that attacked the Halal guys, and if so, WHY WOULD HE COME BACK SOLO? This dude is like Casey Affleck in “Manchester By-The-Sea,” starting meaningless brawls for the sake of getting his shit kicked in to numb the wounds of a horrible family tragedy. And boy, does he get it. You’ve got red shirt hitting backhands like Federer:

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Track jacket whipping away with a loose bike chain like he’s playing Road Rash:

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And then the coup de grâce? Black shirt takes off his Adidas Adissage slide sandal and SMACKS HIM IN THE HEAD. Holy shit I was HOWLING when I saw this:

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The sound of that sandal smacking off the dude’s dome reverberated around the Brooklyn streets for miles. The most ineffective tool that anyone has ever used in a fight. Strictly meant to humiliate a downed opponent, the sandal is more demoralizing than getting a mushroom tattoo (that’s when a dude takes out his penis and smacks you in the face with it). I would rather take a couple dong slaps to the cheek than find myself on the business end of a sandal that has stood on countless piss-soaked YMCA shower floors. If that makes me gay, so be it.

PS- Road Rash is one of the greatest games of all time. The videos you’d get if you won? Especially the one where the chick biker took the money out of her boob and stuck it back in the dude’s pants? That was porn when I was 12. That was all you needed to go 6-midnight back then. Now I need an incest-interracial-blowbang sandwich that features some sort of former Miss Teen USA runner-up. Oh, to be young again…