Mom Tells Her Kid to Piss in a Restaurant Serving Bowl Because They'll "Clean it Anyway"

Pee bowl

ShanghaistAt a Beijing restaurant recently, one kid told his mom that he needed to go potty. But, rather than escort him to the bathroom, she simply gave him a bowl from the table and told him to go ahead.

As you’d expect, the tinkling noise drew the attention and horror of fellow diners, one of whom posted a picture of the incident on Weibo, adding that the woman explained herself by saying that the restaurant was going to clean the bowls anyway. …

[A] worker confirmed what had happened, saying that she had been working at the restaurant for more than 10 years, and this was a first for her.

She added that the woman’s decision was especially perplexing because the restaurant had a bathroom on each floor for customers.

This just confirms what I’ve been convinced of anyway: That the fall of civilization is way ahead of schedule. Human society peaked a while ago and now we’re well on our way to regressing back to the Dark Ages, Early Man then  cave dwelling again until eventually we just devolve back into apes. It was fun while it lasted.

And yet I find something oddly comforting in this story. Not the kid peeing in the bowl, obviously. That’s a living nightmare I’ll never be able to unsee every time my food comes in a restaurant. No, I find it really gratifying to know this happened in China, because this story just screams “America.” Like if I told you a mom in a gray Champions t-shirt told her little kid to piss in a soup bowl in the middle of a crowded restaurant because she couldn’t be bothered to get off her fucking phone, wouldn’t your immediate reaction be “This had to be Florida”? But nope. You’re off the hook, podunk white trash America. This is one episode of vile, incomprehensibly gross bad parenting that is not on you.

And to China, thanks. This is just the beginning of you taking the lead in horrible human behavior. Enjoy those many years ahead of taking your shoes off on airplanes, talking during movies, parking across two spaces and bringing pets into stores and restaurants. And you’re welcome to it.