You Might Be Wondering If I Had A Wonderful Brunch On Sunday: You Bet Your Ass I Did

My wife and I celebrated our anniversary this weekend. We went to a lovely resort, kicked back by the fire, drank some Oaks And Gingers and just laughed together until the wee hours of the morning. While sitting on the balcony and drinking a nice, crisp sparkling white wine, I told my wife that I felt like taking her out for a special little brunch on some of the trails behind the property. Nature: actually good.

Truth be known, I was trying to set a romantic scene so that she would propose to me but she didn’t feel like our anniversary weekend was the right time. I respect that. While disappointed, I shifted gears and decided to cook for her a nice meal. Effort goes a long way, folks.

I went down to the in-resort convenience store to look for some ingredients. I was in luck. They had eggs and American cheese. I fucking love eggs and cheese. I told my lovely wife to go and get a massage. Swedish style with the stones and whatnot.

I spent the next 90 minutes running hot water through the coffee maker in our room in order to make a lovely brunch. It worked too. The eggs were extremely tender and easy to peel. The cheese stayed chilled on the ice and everything was ready for eating. And eat we did. Boy was it ever a feast!

My friends, I ate 19 boiled eggs without any salt or pepper. Lean gainz everywhere. Full disclosure, I did dip my eggs into a yellow mustard but that’s not pictured. No free ads. Our brunch truly was a meal fit for his king and queen. We came back from our weekend feeling refreshed and reenergized and, full disclosure, just a little bit gassy.