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I Left An SNL After Party Early And Missed The Entire Thing

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Source -  Beyoncé joined Jay-Z at the star-studded “Saturday Night Live” season premiere after party at Tao Uptown after the rapper performed on the show.

Jay – who performed two songs on the season opener – hung out at the bash at a table with Sean “Diddy” Combs, Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys. Beyoncé, who wasn’t at the earlier live broadcast of the NBC show, joined them around 3am.

Also at the bash was host Ryan Gosling, who was with wife Eva Mendez, and his “La La Land” co-star Emma Stone. “Weekend Update” co-host Colin Jost arrived in a car with his girlfriend Scarlett Johansson. Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz arrived holding hands.

 CNN star anchor Don Lemon arrived at the bash holding hands with his boyfriend Tim Malone. Other guests included Dakota Johnson, Aziz Ansari and Andy Cohen, along with “SNL” stars Kate McKinnon, Keenan Thompson, Aidy Bryant, Michael Che and Cecily Strong.

If you didn’t watch the SNL season premier this past Saturday don’t worry- it’s online. You probably saw Michael Che call the President a bitch,

Baldwin do his best Donnie impression,

and another installment of Another Close Encounter.

Which were all hilarious and on-brand for SNL but that’s not the point of this blog. I’m here to talk about the SNL after party that’s been all over the internet. You know, the one on People, and Vanity Fair, and Huffpo, and every other website on the internet.

Anyway, I recently read a book about SNL and apparently they’ve been throwing post show bangers since the seventies. Ever since Belushi bought the first Blues Brothers bar in the village. They’re not easy to get into either- the location is secret and even if you manage to find it, you need a password to get in. They don’t get going until around 4:00AM and usually run straight through until mid Sunday-morning.

The guest list for these things is incredible. This past week was particularly star-studded: Jay-Z, Diddy, Beyonce, Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendez, Scarlett Johnson…the entire cast of SNL. Billions of dollars worth of celebrity and influence hanging around drinking Bud-Lights. And according to the article these parties rip. Remember the 40th Anniversary Party? PRINCE performed.

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Two years ago I almost had my own after party experience. A friend of mine was a cue card boy on the show. Me and two buddies were bugging him for tickets for weeks and he finally caved. It was at Professor Thom’s on 2nd Ave and the password was Reeta Leeds. My bad, if SNL is reading this (they’re not). Anyway, we showed up to what looked like a closed bar at 3:30 AM. The shades were drawn and a large man stood outside the door. He told us they were closed, to which we responded with “Reeta Leeds.” The doors opened and I almost passed out. Mostly due to fatigue but partially because I knew that Diddy, Gay Pat, and Lorne Michaels were about to become the three best friends that anyone could have.

Unfortunately for me, that moment never came. We walked into an empty room and like idiots, left. We thought we missed the party but in reality it hadn’t even started. The cast was still partying at the pre-after-after party. Apparently the adrenaline high from the show makes it tough for the cast to get to sleep until hours after they wrap. It wasn’t until the following morning when I woke up to a barrage of “where are you?” texts that I realized what had happened. The cast showed up at about 4:30AM, half an hour after we had left. Which to twenty-five year old Pat was unfathomably late. I’d like to tell myself that I’d be able to make it that late now but in reality I’d need a Red Bull drip to make it past three. We caught up in the morning and he sent pictures of everything we missed. It sucked. In hindsight I should’ve stayed and yucked it up with the crew. Union guys can drink and I’m sure they had the NBC card.

I hadn’t really thought about that night until this past week when the article came out. Delayed FOMO, I guess. If future Pat  could have a moment with past Pat it would look something like this.

So why am I telling you this? Mostly because it’s part of my healing process but also because I care about you. I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. If I had stayed for one more beer, this story would have been a lot cooler. Maybe I’d be holding an umbrella for Diddy or raising children with Ryan Gosling, we’ll never know. Getting into parties isn’t something that’s ever been important to me but going to an SNL after party is on my bucket list. As long as it starts before four.