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BARSTOOL COLLEGE FOOTBALL ROUND UP - WEEK 5

Let’s start with confirmation one thousand eight hundred twenty-five that The U is #back (even though their punters are kicking the ball BACKWARDS):

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Maybe after Friday night, people will stop sleeping on Pullman, Mike Leach, and Wazzu:

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Please take this time in the round up to pray for every USC player, because it seemed like they all died on Friday night.

It’s funny, the same night that 1/2 of USC died, the dab pulled an Undertaker and came back to life. The next day it reminded the world that it is, in fact, #back.

Blacksburg almost exploded from electricity.

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The electricity didn’t end up mattering, as Virginia Tech couldn’t stop the Clemson train that is running through the damn country.

Butch Jones is going to be able to buy a lot of donuts with the buyout money he’s going to have soon after being fired.

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(this is my favorite tweet ever btw)

Ole Miss is dead. DEAD I tell ya, DEAD!

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Temple Football decided to TL;DR their entire 2017 season in a tweet & two plays.

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Ed Orgeron’s buyout is 12 million dollars….$12,000,000!

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Saquon Barkley is a god walking among humans. Just give him the damn Heisman now.

Florida scored….wait for it….38 points (gasp) this weekend, which broke the damn scoreboard.

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Wake Forest (almost) did the damn thing!

Now DO the Stanky LEG!

All together now: JUUUUUUUUUUICCCCCCCCCE!

A star was born in Wisconsin and it was all thanks to a schmedium polo.

Oh no, ECU, what is you DOING?!?!

Texas A&M almost had a national emergency:

UMASS FOOTBALL: CATCH THE EXCITEMENT!

We almost had a damn decapitation in Kansas!

Bryce….goddamn…..LOVE!

Moss’d!!!!

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Oh, Rutgers, I wonder why you even try sometimes.

That is NOT how you football! BAD!

EXPLOSIVE game for Notre Dame:

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I hope you all have a great week….or at least it’s better than Dan Mullen’s week is going to be!