Comedy Night On The Boat: Jokers Deliver Their Best Punchlines As A Shark Eats Their Friend's Stomach
Daily Mail- A man had to forcibly remove a shark from his stomach with a knife after it latched onto him while he was swimming off the coast of Marthon, Florida.
Shocking video shows Ervin Maccarty emerging from the water into a boat with a small shark attached to his body that won’t let go.
He is heard swearing and the shark begins to struggle, sending Mr Maccarty down on the ground in pain.
His friends immediately come to his assistance, deciding to cut into the shark with a knife and ‘bleed it out’ until it lets go.
He said: ‘I struggled to get back to the boat. It [the shark] hit me hard. It knocked the breath out of me so I had to get up for air but I felt the shark biting and trying to tear me open. I thought I would drown.’
Here’s the video. It’s not fun. You’ve been warned.
If you didn’t watch this video with sound, you missed out on a FEAST of soundbites:
“He didn’t getcher penis, did he?”
I certainly hope not! Circumcision via shark is far worse than having it done by a mohel. Oy vey!
“We’re gonna bleed him out.” “We’re gonna bleed who out?” “The shark!”
Some lady off camera, for just one second, assumed they were going to remove the shark by slicing Irv open and bleeding him out. The fact that that thought even appeared in her brain means she should be institutionalized immediately.
Speaking of Irv, Hats off to the man who was an absolute trooper throughout. If I’m Irv, I’m screaming bloody murder and punching all my boatmates in the face, men and women alike, for making light of my ordeal. You’ve got a fucking shark performing a C-section on you while your friends think its open mic night.
“Yer jus tryin’ ta protect yer boat!”
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SHUT UP BITCH! I have a fucking shark gnawing on my belly! Irv appears to be in decent shape, but if ever there was an incentive to tighten up the midsection, it’s this. Perhaps the shark would not have latched on had he spent more time on his core. Everyone knows that rock hard abs are a deterrent to shark attacks.
I love Irv. His first words after the ordeal?
“Yew ain’t wearing no undewear.”
You’re a prince, Irv. Now get yourself a tetanus shot.