The NFL and NFLPA Join Forces to Agree Tom Brady Didn't Have a Concussion
Press Release – “The NFL and NFLPA have conducted comprehensive evaluations of the Concussion Protocol as it applied to Tom Brady during the 2016-17 season. This review included an examination of all game film from every Patriots’ game last season, every report from the Unaffiliated Neurotrauma Consultants and Booth ATC Spotter assigned to those games and Mr. Brady’s medical records, which were produced pursuant to a release signed by Mr. Brady. This review identified no evidence of any deviation from the Protocol by the Patriots’ medical staff or the Unaffiliated Neurotrauma Consultants assigned to Patriots’ games or any indication that Mr. Brady sustained a concussion or reported signs or symptoms consistent with having sustained a concussion. We appreciate the cooperation of the Patriots’ medical staff in conducting this review.”
Well that solves that. Our long, national nightmare is over. Houston will take years to be back to normal and Florida might be wiped off the map soon. But at least the country can dig out knowing this one crisis is behind us.
This kind of seems like a bad precedent to me. A player’s wife says something in a morning happytalk TV show interview on Earth Day or some other crackpot thing she’s into about her husband getting a concussion last year and the NFL and the Players Association form an investigative committee like they’re Congress or something. It seems to me that players’ wives just kind of naturally say too much. It’s part of being a wife. And if you talk enough, eventually you’re going to say something stupid and regrettable you’re husband will wish you hadn’t. If you an infinite amount of chimps at an infinite amount of computers, eventually they’re going to type all of Shakespeare’s works. But it will only take a minute for them to type “I’m worried about my husband’s concussions.” And sure, I could comment on how they league and the union spent months going through all the forensics on this digging for clues, but couldn’t be bothered to look into Mrs. Peyton Manning getting HGH shipments. Peyton said she didn’t, and that was plenty good enough for everyone. But I won’t.
This is not a time for old grudges. This is a time to celebrate. The NFL and the NFLPA hate each other. The players hate the fact they’ve been on the receiving end of atomic wedgie after atomic wedgie since they first unionized and the two sides agree on nothing. Except that Gisele was wrong. You might have been worried that all that nosing around last year’s game film or old doctor’s notes might have turned something up. And that the league might want to look like they’re being super-aggressive in caring about player safety for their own good. Or even that Goodell might drop a thermonuclear Article 46 on somebody’s ass. But there was nothing to worry about.
Because there is one thing we can always count on, and that is the desire of the NFL and the players to cover up concussions. As you were, everybody. Nothing to see here.