There's NO CHANCE Philip Rivers Watches Film In His New Pimped Out SUV
SD Tribune - As the 73 toll road turned into Interstate 5 and San Juan Capistrano and then San Clemente sped by unseen, Philip Rivers and Kellen Clemens watched tape of the Denver Broncos defense and then a little of the San Francisco 49ers defense.
It was the last Monday in August, the return leg of the first round trip for the Riversmobile, an SUV that has been gutted and turned into what the Chargers starting quarterback calls the “best QB room I’ve ever been in.”
They clicked over to catch up on the news and were watching ESPN when the SUV slowed to take the North County exit that would deliver the Chargers’ QB1 and QB2 to the Rivers’ driveway just before 5:40 p.m.
“An hour and 18 minutes,” Rivers said later. “Which is nothing.”
This is how Rivers, a Charger since 2004, didn’t have to relocate even though his team did.
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In order to remain a San Diegan, Rivers invested in just about the most L.A. vehicle ever.
Three days a week during the season he will make the commute from his San Diego home to the Chargers’ Costa Mesa facility. It’s a trek many know too well – and dread.
Rivers will do it in a different, more efficient manner.
Essentially, his mode of transportation is a mobile man cave with the seats like those in a first class airplane set side-by-side in the back facing forward, plenty of room for a 6-foot-5 quarterback to fully recline while watching film on the 40-inch television screen separating the front seat and rear cabin. There is satellite TV, WiFi and a small refrigerator Rivers would rather you call a cooler.
For upwards of $200,000 (plus a driver’s salary), anyone can make the freeway melt away.
First off, this thing is sick. It’s an SUV straight out of Pimp My Ride. At any given moment during the San Diego Tribune article I fully expected them to name drop West Coast Customs and Xzibit to drop in out of the sky, dropping Yo Dawgs about QB film rooms for QBs to study QBs while being a QB.
But more importantly, are we really meant to believe Rivers is going to be watching tape in this thing? For sure NOT. This is his only escape from the hell that is his life. His life is divided into two hellacious parts: At home, he has 11 kids with probably 3 more on the way. Diapers full of shit as far as the eye can see. He definitely walks on Legos minimum 3 times a day. He has so many offspring at this point he without a doubt sits on a rogue kid by accident, like it’s a puppy sleeping under a blanket.
Then at work he plays for the now LA Chargers, a team that has been treading water in endless circles for better part of the last decade:
The only bright spot was he got to play in the beautiful city of San Diego, and even that was snatched from him. Now he has to play in god forsaken Los Angeles in front of indifferent fans and Instagram models who just want to be seen in public with the 3rd string right guard because it could potentially get them a new product placement deal with a brand of tea.
So if you think Philip Rivers is going to be spending that alone time in his souped up SUV watching game film you are out of your fucking mind. There are many things that come to mind that he will be watching on that sweet ass TV, but the Chiefs nickel defense package in 3rd and long situations will certainly not be one of them. He just has to remember to change the channel back to film before some teammates or coaches hop in for a film session and the YouJizz app starts blasting through the surround sound speakers.