Cycling Magazine Grinding The Wrong Gears With Sexist Caption
Holy shit. Something extremely rare is happening in the cycling world–cyclists are turning on cyclists! Typically, people who cycle stick together. They shut down roads by riding in packs, organize rides and share energy gel packets, offer assistance when a fallen rider needs a hex wrench, grit their teeth when climbing hills, and discuss Lance Armstrong’s legacy in hushed tones over wine tastings in Napa.
But thanks to one mischievous sub-editor of Cycling Weekly–a magazine one can find in ANY bathroom of ANY bike shop–the wheels are starting to wobble in cycling’s ever-cohesive peloton. “This is so vile,” tweeted Elizabeth Renfrey. “Women should be encouraged to cycle!” Hey Liz? If someone called me attractive, I don’t think I’d be like FUCK NOW I CAN’T RIDE MY BIKE! But then again, I’m not a woman, so I don’t understand it. If labeling a female cyclist in a magazine the “token attractive woman” is really keeping women cyclists off the road, I guess we should put a stop to it. The roads should be open to men, women, ugly, and attractive people alike.
I’ll go one step further: I’m driving behind a group of cyclists clogging up the road, I don’t care if they’re men, women, transgender, bigender, or a blender–I envision myself mowing them down like daffodils with a lawnmower, and it’s the best part of my day. Just a scene of spokes and wheels exploding across the pavement, the riders bouncing off fire hydrants and disappearing into bushes, their stupid 6-ounce bicycles that cost $10,000 folding like tinfoil. And this dream is set in a genderless landscape.