Am I Crazy For Wanting Terrible Weather For My St. Andrews Golf Trip This Weekend?

I have an 8PM flight to Edinburgh, Scotland tonight. Land at 8AM local time, quick 80 minute drive up to St. Andrews and poof, Riggs @ the home of golf before noon. Can’t wait. I’ve never been over there, became obsessed with all the links golf I watched this summer, so I booked flights 4 weeks ago with no insurance forcing myself to go. I’m going alone. 7 rounds in 4 days. Can’t wait.

Obviously The Open and links golf in general is known for it’s unpredictable, changing weather. No, it’s not always horrible. The locals say the weather gets a bad wrap – general rule of thumb is you get 1 shit day out of every 4. Not too shabby.

This brings me to the main point of this blog; I want horrendous weather while I’m there. I want it raining fucking sideways. I want it blowing people’s hats off. I want the Scots’ plaid little kilt skirt things up on their shoulders. I want babies crying. I want 120 yards playing 220. I want 4-irons going 100, turning around, and hitting wedges 200. I want chaos. Carnage. I want Tiger’s 81 in the ’02 Open.

Does this make me crazy? Am I a psychopath? A naive American home body? Many people seem to think so.

Look, it doesn’t have to be “The Day After Tomorrow” weather (great film) the whole time. I’ll take a few nice days, but I also don’t want 70 & sunny to be my Scottish experience. Wtf is that? Like getting your shot to bang a porn star and she makes sure you’re nice and comfy the whole time. Huh? Babe make me squirm. Pour hot wax on me and shit. Come on baby make it hurt so good. I’d be a baby back bitch for craving carnage for the pros then begging for San Diego weather for myself. Do I look like a baby back bitch to you? (Don’t answer that)

I’m an equal carnage for all kinda guy. I? ?d?i?d?n?’?t? ?b?u?y? ?s?i?c?k? ?r?a?i?n? ?g?e?a?r? (have companies send me free rain gear) for nothing. Give me the full experience. This ain’t a golf trip to the Bahamas. This is Scotland — I want Scottish weather.

PS — Sneaky most challenging part of the trip will be driving on the left side of the road, in the right side of the car. Gonna need 70 & sunny for that.

PPS — I’ll be shamelessly IG’ing my face off: