Dude Promotes His New Movie With A Strong PR Campaign, Flashy Billboards, and...Covering His Entire Head In Bees For 61 Minutes?

Screen Shot 2017-08-31 at 7.43.38 AM

Source – A man in Canada covered his head in bees for just over an hour in downtown Toronto Wednesday, as you do, to promote the release of a new movie.

Juan Carlos Noguez Ortiz from nearby Dickey Bee Honey Farm grew what’s known by practitioners of the bizarre ritual as a “bee beard” for the stunt, which saw him engulfed in insects for 61 excruciating minutes.

He smashed the previous record of 53 minutes, 34 seconds, according to local media who were watching the horror at the city’s Yonge-Dundas Square.

No Juan Carlos! I understand the importance of promotion but think things through goddamnit! What are you going to get out of this? A few thousand bee stings and a plaque? And I use the term plaque lightly. It’s more like a piece of construction paper that needs framing. This guy has two.

Screen Shot 2017-08-30 at 10.27.06 PM

Promoting Blood Honey covered in actual blood and honey is clever but it’s a little too on the nose if you ask me. I would’ve preferred a more subtle approach. Maybe something involving a Kazoo. There’s not even any money involved. At least on Fear Factor you get paid. I’d go full bee beard for the right price; a dollar a bee. I could fit about three hundred thousand on my lanky frame. Someone should’ve tapped on the bubble to incite the swarm. That’s why people are there in the first place.

Screen Shot 2017-08-31 at 10.07.03 AM

What a goober. Completely engulfed with no way out. At what point does he realize he bit off more than he can chew? “Um excuse me I asked for a bee beard, not a bee jacket.” All he’d have to do is twitch it’s over. No ones even in the bubble with him.

I hope this gives him a ratings bump but I think it’ll do the opposite. This is his version of the Phelps shark race: gimmicky and boring . Can’t hate on him for trying though, at least he walked away with a world record.