Advertisement

Is This Mullet A Sign Of Glorious Things To Come? You'd Be A Fool To Say No

Part I: You guys know the movie Encinco Man? Maybe the GoPresGo crowd is a little too young to know what I’m talking about but it’s got Brendan Fraser and Pauly Shore and Sean Astin. Pretty much the greatest lineup any movie could ever ask for and it’s about Brendan Fraser being a caveman who was frozen in ice and then Pauly Shore and Sean Astin find him, melt him and now they have this prehistoric man alive in the early 90s. Honestly one of the best movies to watch hungover on a Sunday morning of all time. But anyway, this dude right here is Encino Man 2. Buddy must have gotten cryogenically frozen in 1982 and just came back to life yesterday with that hair.

Part II: I’m a big believer in fate (not really). And I truly believe that everything happens for a reason (not really). So what’s the reason for this man gracing the world with that glorious mullet last night? I’ll tell you. It’s a sign that the Jaromir Jagr contract is finally about to go down. It was reported last week that the Flames were close to sealing the deal with Jags. Obviously they’d like to get the Sam Bennett contract done before they finalize the money on the Jagr deal.

Nobody in the history of the world has rocked the mullet better than Jaromir Jagr. Which is why I think this Cubs fan was sent to us by some higher powers in the universe to show us that everything is going to be okay. Sam Bennett is finally going to shut up and take his money. Then the Flames can pull some strings, get Jagr together with Johnny Hockey for a year and all will be right in the world. So thank you, Mullet Man at the Cubs game. Thank you for this reassurance that we all so desperately needed.

jagr-freeagent

New Jersey Devils v Florida Panthers

Mario Lemieux NHL All Star game

XXX C12G1HSIDE12   6P3 X 10 LINES S HKN

jagr-mullet4

jagr-mullet

@BarstoolJordie