Hank Put Pop Tarts On His Mount Rushmore of Hangover Foods

Unfortunately for Hank, I don’t feel like blogging about weird shit in Asia today. I’m flying back to China September 10th and want to keep my mind occupied with simpler matters until then. Instead, I feel like blogging about Hank’s outrageous move putting POP TARTS on his Mount Rushmore of best Hungover Foods.

Let’s be clear, I have no problem with pop tarts, especially the Brown Sugar Cinnamon variety. If this was the Mt Rushmore of foods you crave when your high AF, Cinnamon sugar would be a very respectable choice, but we’re talking about the top 5 foods that you either crave when hungover or that help with a hangover. If you crave sweet foods when hungover you’ve never really been hungover. I’d expect that type of answer from Billy Football, not the Handsome one. A hungover body craves grease, salt, fat. That’s why PFT gets a pass for saying Ice cream, it may be sweet but it also has loads of fat. That’s not just my opinion either, it’s science. Please don’t ask me what Galanin is.

“Alcohol intake results in increased galanin production. Galanin increases appetite for fats, and consumption of fat causes more galanin to be produced” (Popsci)

Iknow Hank has had some great Mt Rushmore’s over the months but just felt I had to throw him under the bus for that one.

Now to finish on a more positive note, PFT and Big Cat had big time varsity picks. Most notably, PFT going with Pho, a vietnamese soup that is internationally recognized as one of the best hangover cures in the world.

The broth contains way more electrolytes than your average Gatorade while the spices help you sweat out all the toxins. Nice little one two punch right there. Actually, if we’re going by the infographic above it looks like packs more than two punches, I’m just not qualified to explain the science behind all the other ones.  And last but not least, shout out Big Cat for confronting the inconvenient truth, there are a bunch of foods that may help ease the pain or provide some comfort but none of them will actually “cure” a hangover except for more alcohol. Sad, but true. Either don’t drink or keep drinking kids.