Holding Onto A Door Handle And Getting Dragged By A Car With Your Pants Down Is A Bad Look For Any Suspected Carjacker

I don’t know what the street resell value of a Subaru Forester is, but there is NO chance that it is worth getting your dick and ass dragged raw dog on pavement for miles. An Aston Martin or a Ferrari? Maybe. But not a Subaru Forester. And that has nothing to do with the Forester. The Casa de Clem has a Forester in its fleet because the winters in Winterfell can be rough and nothing makes you feel safer than when your Subaru enters Beast Mode with the All-Wheel Drive function kicking into full gear. In fact it’s the closest I feel to a real man if we are being honest. But I’d be damned if I would let that feeling be the reason I was putting band-aids and ointment on my dick for months. Sometimes you gotta treat life like a game of Grand Theft Auto and just hijack literally the next car you set your eyes on. There are plenty of fish in the carjacking sea. Let the Forester go, even if it robs the world of some A+++ commentary that sounded like an ethnic remix of what me and everyone else that is against incest were screaming at the end of last night’s Game of Thrones episode.

Also the Kent Police absolutely nailed their assessment of this situation.