Michael Conforto Went Down With A Dislocated Shoulder While Swinging A Bat
Hi there Barstool reader! Would you like to see a tragedy play out in 3 pictures? Well here you go!
Nothing like your team’s best young offensive player going down like he got shot during a meaningless game. I don’t know how often someone’s shoulder can separate from their body on an innocent swing, but it doesn’t seem like a good thing to happen to a baseball player. Maybe it was some overdue Terry Collins voodoo from April when Conforto was making it impossible to bench him by raking like the stud he is. Regardless, it would be Mets fans luck for Michael Conforto to have shoulders like Riggs (from Lethal Weapon) or KFC (from BarstoolSports[dot]com). Which is why the Mets need to put this season in a bag of rice, light the bag on fire, shoot it into the sun, and then have Trump fire every nuke we have into said sun. I don’t want to see anyone in the Top 50 of the Mets major or minor league system play for the rest of the season. Sign 25 guys off of the street like this is Major League and lets go from there. Tim Tebow bringing David Wright back from the dead is obviously causing some major autocorrections by the baseball gods and we can’t afford to lose any other young players to ugly injuries. We are onto 2018.
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I remember when I was a kid and had no idea the misery that lay ahead for me as a Mets fans. The Mets were being called The Worst Team Money Can Buy because they were filled with overpaid assholes that would throw bleach and fireworks at people. It was that time that I first heard the ol’ kneeslapper that Mets stood for Must End The Season. And you know what? That have never rung more true than it does today. Lets turn off injuries and simulate the rest of this god forsaken season. Because the only thing worse than seeing your young All-Star outfielder go down in a heap is seeing this.
Okay this was pretty funny.
We’ve never needed this picture more than we do right now. #PositiveVibesOnly
Damn, even Mama C isn’t safe from the cuncel.
Guess I’m back on my bullshit.