A Boyfriend Got His Girl a Google Maps Image of the Sky From When They First Met as a Bday Present and It’s Gone Viral as the Greatest Gift Ever…Wait What?
I came across this late last night and I almost fell out of bed. As Hank has documented lately, you can go viral for literally the dumbest shit in the world, even by tweeting out a sick little league catch. But this crosses the line. This girl got a picture of the fucking sky from when they first met, random stars which frankly could have been from literally any night in the history of the world, for her birthday. I found this image on Google in about three seconds and with a few hours of photoshop you could probably make this look almost identical to her gift.
Almost 50,000 retweets and 185,000 likes for one of the worst birthday gifts of all time? Get the fuck outta here. This is the key to a girl’s heart? A stupid picture off of Google? Am I taking crazy pills here? You can’t stop crying joy because this is sooooo thoughtful you’re in shock? If I had a girlfriend and she gave me this as a gift it would probably be the tell tale sign that it’s time this relationship comes to a close. The first girlfriend I ever had was in the middle of college (what an idiot) and for her birthday I went balls to the wall and got her the nicest jewelry, like hundreds of dollars of jewelry. Her friends were blown away at the thoughtfulness of a guy like me to do something like that. Little did they know I hit a big college football parlay for a few grand and decided to look good for a change. So what did I get for my birthday the following month? A pair of Derrick Rose basketball sneakers. That’s the day I gave up on love.
Anyways, back to this, any girl who gets a photo of the sky for her birthday should be irate. She should light it on fire. She should laugh in that guy’s face for ETERNITY. Oh but wait! There’s more…he had another gift for her. Was it a fancy bottle of wine? Maybe a puppy? Maybe a ring?
Nope, he got a painting that looks like me or you could’ve done it. I have a theory after all of this. I think this guy completely forgot this girl’s birthday. He woke up and was scrolling through his morning Instagram and got his Facebook update of who’s birthday it was, and that’s when shit hit the fan.
He scrambled, had a stroke of genius to go on Google Images, then paid his buddy, an aspiring artist, to close his eyes and paint something that looks like the sky and a mountain. Fully expecting her to hate it and catch on that he forgot her birthday, she thinks it’s the nicest thing in the world. And now it’s gone viral and he’s being heralded as the best boyfriend of all time. I started this blog hating this guy, but now I just think she’s the dumbest person in the world. I fucking hate the internet.