The general public watches diving competitions about, what? Maybe 1 or 2 times every 4 years? And what is the sole purpose for those people tuning in? Same reason people watch NASCAR. Because people love to see bad things happen to anybody who isn’t themselves. You want to see some crashes, you want to see some diving fails. And now it looks like those freaks in Norway found a hole in the market and decided to fill it with the World Championship of Death Diving. Just a bunch of goofy European bastards going full send until the cows come home.
Just a week or so too late for ESPN 8: The Ocho. But this is the type of shit we need more of. It’s about damn time we have some regular heroes in our lives. Death diving is a true common man’s sport. Professional athletes these days are hardly even human. The fact that I can be considered the same species as some of them is laughable. Michael Phelps? Dolphin. LeBron James? Petty robot. Phil Kessel? Well, he’s an exception but you get my point. It’s just nice to have some normal folk to idolize every once in a while.
Anyway, you can bet your sweet ass that we won’t be missing the 2018 World Championships of Death Diving. Marking it on the calendar right now as we speak. That’s my promise to you.