A Survey Says Patriots Fans are the Most Undateable

Patriots fans

Source - Dating is serious business. If you’re an NFL fan, there’s another aspect of dating that might derail any hope of starting a relationship: your fandom. There are lines that fans won’t cross no matter how great the girl or guy is. Many fans of opposing teams may refuse to date one another.

We surveyed over 2,900 football fans to find out how a person’s NFL fandom might affect their dating habits.

Patriots fans 2

Oh God, no! 83 percent of pro football fans say they wouldn’t date a Pats fan? Please say it isn’t so! What will become of us?!? Whatever shall we do???

Oh, right. We can keep dating each other. Continue to stay with our own kind, as God intended. If He wanted breeding with other fanbases, He wouldn’t have given us a 16-year (and counting) Dynasty. If He wanted us to be co-mingling with lesser beings, He wouldn’t have blessed us with the GOAT owner, coach and player. So that 83 percent is doing us a favor. At most we should limit any interaction with the other 31 markets to blowies or handdookies, so we don’t water down our gene pool.

I mean, get a load of that top three Most Dateable. What in the name of Brady would you talk about on a date with a chick who followed any other those dog’s breakfast franchises? The Greatest Show on Turf days? Matt Millen drafting a wide receiver every year on his way to 0-16? LaRod Stephens-Howling stories? Sorry, rest of the country. Life is too short to listen to blathering on about your team couldn’t hack it in St. Louis or how you’ve never won a Super Bowl. We’ve got problems of our own. Like where the fifth banner is getting hung because Gillette doesn’t have room for it. Or how Barstool is going to get 70,000 Goodell clown towels in the right hands. You know, first world problems that only another New Englander can relate to. And saying you wouldn’t date us is like me saying I wouldn’t date Gal Godot. While it’s technically true, that’s getting it very, very backwards.