Amazon Is Working On A Ready-To-Eat Food Delivery Service That Doesn't Need To Be Refrigerated Or Heated Up

Reuters- Amazon.com Inc is exploring a technology first developed for the U.S. military to produce tasty prepared meals that do not need refrigeration, as it looks for new ways to muscle into the $700 billion U.S. grocery business.

The world’s biggest online retailer has discussed selling ready-to-eat dishes such as beef stew and a vegetable frittata as soon as next year, officials at the startup firm marketing the technology told Reuters. The dishes would be easy to stockpile and ship because they do not require refrigeration and could be offered quite cheaply compared with take-out from a restaurant.

If the cutting-edge food technology comes to fruition, and Amazon implements it on a large scale, it would be a major step forward for the company as it looks to grab hold of more grocery customers shifting toward quick and easy meal options at home.

I thought Amazon had taking over the world on lock when they were able to undercut every retailer on the planet while also convincing people that paying for free shipping was the best deal ever. But to do some futuristic shit like making a food that can be eaten by doing no work at all without having to get take out would be finishing move by Amazon on par with Sub Zero’s fatality from the OG Mortal Kombat.

The reason I eat a billion carbs a day like an asshole isn’t just because I love them (which I do). It’s also because they are the easiest food to prepare and eat, which is perfect for a lazy fuck like myself. All I have to do is rip open the bag or box where they reside, mayyyybe heat or toast it for a minute, and I am fed. If I do make some sort of meal that requires real deal cooking, I inevitably fuck it up because I am a poor excuse for a grown man.

So to make “restaurant quality” food that doesn’t require an ounce of work or the paycheck of a successful person is right up my alley. Even if the food isn’t a 10 out of 10, I can still stomach it if the military created it. If it’s good enough for the troops, it’s good enough for me. Plus eating this food will help my self esteem a bunch. Podcasting with a handsome man like Chaps that has his own cooking show is hard enough for a common man like myself. But when I add in how much braver he is than a pussy like me, I sometimes feel more inadequate than usual. But if I eat the same type of food in my daily civilian life that he and his fellow marines ate on the battlefield, it will do wonders for helping me look at the man in the mirror. I’m not saying I will love or even like that man. But I will at least be able to stomach myself (sick food pun, Clem. Thanks Clem!).