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Hoodie Melo Was Balling His Dick Off With Kevin Durant And Lebron James During A Game Of Pickup Hoops

So these two videos are making their way around the social media and blog circuit right now. Hell Gay Pat already grabbed it from the Barstool side of things. NBA players are apparently really really good at playing basketball. Who knew? JR Smith, his brother Chris Smith, Enes Kanter, Mickstape guest and friend of Barstool Dahntay Jones, and a bunch of other players were balling too. But it was awesome seeing LeBron, Durant, and Melo do shit that I can only do on a 8 7-foot rim.

But the real reason I wanted to blog this was because Hoodie Melo has been taking the world by storm this summer. Motherfucker can’t make the playoffs in the Eastern Conference for 4 years running with an old fashioned NBA mesh tank top. But he becomes a 99 Overall and is going basket for basket with LeBron when he has a hood attached to his tank. Someone tell Nike that the Knicks need their primary home and road jerseys to have a hood on it. Slap a fucking Carhart logo on the front too if you want an advertiser. Whatever it takes to get the Knicks out of the gutter. Because if I had to rank the Melo’s, it would be:

1. Olympic Melo
2. Hoodie Melo (In A Gym By Himself Filming an Instagram Video)
3. Hoodie Melo (In A Pickup Game)
4. Melo wearing number 15 (Regardless of team or competition level)

Huuuuuuge gap

5. Knicks Melo That Doesn’t Win Shit

Again, lets hope GMs of teams that Melo would actually approve see these highlights and offer the Knicks some sort of equal value to him. Ahhhh who am I kidding? He’s gonna hold the franchise hostage another season because Phil Jackson gave him a no trade clause like an absolute asshole.