Tiger out here trying to own the news cycle again. “Oh the toxicology report came out from my DUI arrest? And I had more drugs in my system than your local pharmacy? Well then I’m gonna have dinner with the winner of the PGA Championship and hope no one notices.” At least that’s what I think he’s thinking. Did you guys ever do the project in elementary school where you outlined yourself, cut it out and sent it around to different relatives around the country? Then they took pictures with it at different places around where they live?* Well that’s what Tiger is at this point. He is a piece of paper that travels around the world taking pictures. He might as well be a cardboard cutout at this point. Hey here’s Tiger fishing in the Bahamas! Hey here’s Tiger hanging with Justin Thomas! Hey here’s Tiger in handcuffs! We need him to play golf soon.
*I asked around the office and apparently this is NOT a thing people have heard of. I swear to god we did it in school. I guess this is what your school does when you’re poor and you can’t actually travel to different places
Shout out to Rickie for the self-deprecating humor. You’ll get one pal.