WILDWOOD: A Place Where You Can Get Blown On The Beach In Broad Daylight And Nobody Will Bat An Eye

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Yup. On a weekday. In front of families and kids. In broad daylight. This happened (allegedly, but even mimicking the act would be considered a violation). Where do they think they are, ummmm…Yeah they’re in Wildwood. This is exactly the kind of behavior one would expect in those parts. The least they can do is wait till nightfall or go back to their shanty and get it on in their outdoor (only) shower. Not to mention sex acts on the beach are among most overrated activities in the world. A sandy shaft is no friend to any man. I can’t imagine doing anything sexual on that dirty Jersey beach. The amount of pollution, disease, needles, piss, and puke scattered about could instantly shut down the most robust immune system.

For real. You see what kind of things wash up on the Wildwood beaches? This kind of shit.


NORTH WILDWOOD – A half-eaten dolphin washed up on a beach in North Wildwood over the weekend. Karissa Kerns, 44, of Northeast Philadelphia, told NBC10 she was visiting the 4th Street Beach Saturday with her mother and 4-year-old son around 9:45 a.m. when they noticed a fisherman reeling something in. “I thought it was a sea turtle at first,” Kerns said. As they walked towards it however they realized what it was, a dolphin that appeared to be half eaten. “The lifeguard flipped it over and you could see a shark had grabbed it and chomped right out of it,” Kerns said. “You could see the teeth marks and everything. It’s spine was completely severed. It wasn’t a full-sized dolphin and it wasn’t a baby dolphin, it was mid-sized. At that point my mom took my son away quick because he was freaked out about it.” Kerns took a photo of the dolphin as lifeguards began to move the body. “One girl grabbed it and she carried it where the trashcans are near a sand dune,” Kerns said.

I’d almost rather have my dick out around herpes armed with fire than that corpse. The impressive fact is that rotting, half eaten dolphin carcass is still not the most repulsive site on the Wildwood beaches. In fact, it’s probably one of the best looking animals on that shoreline any given day.

“One girl grabbed it and she carried it where the trashcans are near a sand dune.” I kid about trashing the place, but only in Wildwood can you throw a half eaten dolphin carcass in a standard beach trash can and nobody bats an eye. Seriously.