Some Blue Check Mark Will Call the Cops on Anyone Who Retweets Him


Introducing Brad The Lad Long. Self-described “Media personality. Columnist. Known for telling it like it is.” And the verified Twitter account who might be certifiably insane, completely unaware of how the Internet works, or a mad genius. I honestly can’t decide.

I’ve tumbled all the way down the rabbit hole trying to figure out this little logic puzzle this Blue Check Mark has put out here. And I’m no closer to unlocking it than I was when I started. It’s possible he actually does think that retweeting him is a form of criminal harassment. But I think it’s way more likely this is a thought experiment/ironic commentary on the nature of fame.

Brad The Lad Long is not famous. He’s no one’s idea of a celebrity. He has no fans. But if he tells people that only his true fans can retweet him, then people WILL retweet him because it’s so ridiculous, thereby making him famous. And, if you do retweet his demand not to be retweeted, then by definition you’ve become a fan.

I think. I’m still not sure. This is some deep, philosophical stuff. A sort of 140 character Existentialism, with Long as this generation’s Samuel Beckett. And like Waiting for Godot, open to all sorts of interpretations.

Then again, I go back and read this, “I am taking this seriously now and I am fully confident that I am being bullied purely because I made something out of my life and purely because I went from a nobody to somebody famous.” And I realize my first instinct was right. Forget everything else I said this Brad Long guy is just a dick.