Citigroup Executive “Deeply Disappointed” In Coworkers After Pulling His Own Dick Out At The Company Party

Source - A powerful Swedish financier got blackout drunk at a house party and exposed his private parts to other guests — leading him to resign as a senior advisor to Citigroup on Monday, according to reports.

Anders Borg — who was once Sweden’s minister of finance — also reportedly threatened guests, groped other men and called female revelers “whores” and “sluts” during his night of debauchery.

“I have been told afterwards that I behaved very inappropriately,” he said in a Facebook post. “I sincerely apologize to all who were affected .?.?. I don’t drink more than most people but I have been under a lot of pressure lately.”

He said he was so hammered he couldn’t remember what happened at the party. Borg — who insisted he did nothing wrong and blasted “rumors” — later explained the apology was “about me being rude” and “not to be interpreted as a recognition of crime.”

Anna Kinberg Batra, head of the Moderate Party, called the claims against Borg “very serious” and publicly welcomed the police investigation, according to the Financial Times. Borg, however, blasted back at her, saying he was “deeply disappointed.”

So Borg enjoys a few cocktails, what of it? He was just trying to liven the party up. Be the “cool boss.”  Besides, his dick was just a prelude to the real show. If his coworkers didn’t freak out, Teller was going to pop out from behind his ball sack and start the magic routine.

Cold opens are tough to pull off. He could’ve introduced it on Snap prior to the party. Dress it up with emoji’s and colors, make it more approachable. Oh well, next time.

Things went south but Borg did an A+ spin job. First he made himself the victim:

I don’t drink more than most people but I have been under a lot of pressure lately.

Then he discredited the source and apologized for the behavior not the act:

Borg — who insisted he did nothing wrong and blasted “rumors” — later explained the apology was “about me being rude” and “not to be interpreted as a recognition of crime.

Then he pulled the same card teachers use on misbehaving students:

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Anna Kinberg Batra, head of the Moderate Party,publicly welcomed the police investigation, according to the Financial Times. Borg, however, blasted back at her, saying he was “deeply disappointed.”

Logos, ethos and pathos, executed perfectly.  Not sure how it will hold up in court but it worked on me. Borg taught us a few valuable lessons. Don’t pull  your dick out at an office party, and if you do, pray you look like Penn Jillette.