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Today Is National Watermelon Day

Today is National Watermelon Day. Now people who know me know Watermelon is my jam. I’m the Don of Watermelon. I buy 4 things and 4 things only at the supermarket. Watermelon, pistachios, reduced fat cheeze its and carrot sticks. That’s it. And when the summer months roll and I hit my stride Im eating at least half a Watermelon a day. Just waking up 10 times a night to piss like you read about. So in honor of this glorious fruit and National Watermelon Day here is the time I tried to break the world record for most Watermelon ever eaten in 15 minutes. It’s not tragic to die doing what you love