So we know Roger Goodell is going to be at Foxboro for the NFL Season opener. We also know our Clown shirt drives him bananas. Just sends him into a blind rage. Hmm, what oh what should I do? Hey I got an idea! I think I’ll order 30 thousand of these towels to give out to all my closest friends and family on Thursday September 7th. And if my friends want to bring these towels into Gilette and wave them in Roger’s face who am I to stop them? Now I’ve seen lots of scuttlebutt on how we’ll do this? That the league won’t allow it. Well let me say this. I’ll figure out how to get the towels to the people. The people will figure out how to get them in the stadium. (IE – It’s a fucking towel. Stick it in your pants. This isn’t the Brinx job. It’s a freaking towel)
The good news is we’ve already been offered a storage unit in Foxboro to house the towels and serve as homebase. Now we need an army of volunteers to help us distribute the towels at their tailgates and to the people around them. So if you are going to the game and want to help us send Gaz an email at firstname.lastname@example.org We’ll arrange to give you a box of towels to distribute to everybody in your area. This will be a team effort. Pats Nation and Stoolie Nation conspiring for the greatest rebellion in American history since the Tea Party. All just to give Roger Goodell a giant fuck you on National TV. Because make no mistake about it. When he sees our turquoise flags waving he’ll know exactly what it means even if he still says he’s never heard of Barstool Sports.
PS – The only reason we ordered 30K as opposed to 60 or 70K is because we don’t think we’ll be able to get them in literally everybody’s hands. But 30K is a shit ton of people