The Undertaker Has Apparently Been The Victim Of Cucumber Torture For His Whole Career
New York Post- For 27 years The Undertaker was one of the most dominant and feared superstars to step in a WWE ring. He struck terror into the hearts of his opponents with the supernatural-like presence and knack for stuffing his victims into caskets. But in real-life Undertaker had a fear of his own – he was scared of cucumbers.
“He cannot stand cucumbers…I saw The Undertaker throw up all over a waffle house because there was a cucumber floating in his iced tea,” Bearer told Jim Cornette.
Bearer also confessed to pranking The Undertaker by sticking cucumber slices in his hat and gloves. But Bearer – real name William Moody – could only speculate about the cause of the Deadman’s greatest phobia.
“Owen put cucumbers in the bottom of the iced tea so that when Taker drank the tea and drank it back, he didn’t realize the cucumbers were in there until it was looking at his face,” Prichard said.
Another story was that Hart would go out to wrestle Undertaker with cucumber slices concealed in his tights. He would then hold the Deadman in a headlock and surreptitiously produce the cucumbers to hold in Taker’s face – forcing the Deadman to face his fear or break character.
Yep, you read that right. For the past 27 years, WWE superstars fucked The Undertaker in the butthole with cucumbers every night against his will.
LOLjk, I’m just fucking with those of you who didn’t read the italics. He was pretty harmlessly ribbed because he’s grossed out by cucumbers. Some of the harmless ribs were kinda savage, though. Bret putting cucumbers in his gear and holding The Undertaker in a headlock so he could smell them, I mean, he had to be ridiculously bored of wrestling if he had to go that far to find joy. Owen’s make me smile, because he was one of the greatest rib artists of all time, and the stories about him just keep coming. I wouldn’t be surprised if he traveled with a Carrot Top-esque box of props on the road.
Cucumbers are a weird thing to be grossed out by, but I think we all have something like this. For me, it’s styrofoam. It’s all squeaky and shit, it falls apart into a million pieces, it’s impossible to vacuum up. I’m not GROSSED OUT by it necessarily, but I just want it out of my fuckin life at all times. Oh you’re coming to tailgate and you brought your squeaky 7-11 styrofoam cooler? Well I’m gonna dump the ice out of it and punt it to the fucking moon. What’s your weird thing, stoolies? Tweet me @RobbieBarstool and let me know!