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David Irving's Nipple Ring Gets Ripped Out During Cowboys Practice

And so a tough week for superfluous jewelry continues in the NFL. Most teams are only on Day 2 of camp and already

I've been around the NFL for almost 60 years ... this is a first.

— Gil Bra????dt (@Gil_Brandt) July 27, 2017 " target="_blank">Julio Jones has lost a $100,000 earring while jet skiing, and now David Irving suffers has his nipple ring ripped out. Both are terrible tragedies, but the kind of things that are going to happen when football players are living their best life.

You could argue that maybe it’s stupid to wear six figure jewelry just to make your earlobe look good on a watercraft or to keep a gold bar through your nipple while hand-fighting with 300 lb offensive linemen. But I’m not going to sit here and tolerate this kind of victim shaming. These were accidents and completely unavoidable. Save these guys taking off the jewelry, which is too big an ask.

So Gil Brandt can GTFO and go back to yelling at clouds. I’m sure back when he was building the Cowboys in the 60s, I’m sure plenty of guys he drafted enjoyed getting their nips pierced. Roger Staubach was in the Navy. Those midshipmen were getting tattoos back when nobody was. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to hear he knew the pleasures of a good ring through the nipple. Or to find out that, for instance, that the nipple was Bob Lilly’s “spot.” Hell, Brandt drafted Hollywood Henderson, so he can quit acting like old timey players didn’t love getting kinky once in a while. In his late 60s, Frank Gifford was caught on tape trying to get anal from a flight attendant he’d just met. So don’t try to convince me Kathy Lee doesn’t know the pleasures of having a man’s barbell nipple ring in her mouth.

So this sort of thing probably happened all the time. The only difference is back then football guys didn’t talk about it then. But David Irving wants us to know the whole story, and we should be proud of his courage. And while I’m a non-pierced guy and don’t play football so I wouldn’t deign to tell Irving how to live his life, I’m going to suggest that tape is his friend.