The Madden '18 Trailer Is Out And, Yup, I Can Feel Myself Getting Angry Already

And there it is, folks. The only yearly required purchase I make like clockwork that I easily regret 2 days later. No, not because it’s essentially the same damn game every damn year (even though it has been the same exact game for about a decade – Franchise mode STINKS.). It’s more cause the older I get, the more angry this game makes me feel solely because I don’t have the time to dedicate 10 hours a day mastering the playbook. It’s my own personal Madden Curse of life. There’s only so much I can take being shit on by an 8-year-old online and listening to the person that I’m dating tell me I’m a ‘different person’ and ‘scaring her’ when I play video games. Hey, hun, it’s not my fault fucking Jaylen Mills and Malcolm Jenkins still let Dez Bryant get behind him even though I’m a defensive genius and called for a soft man double-z coverage with the safeties playing a deep cover 2. Even Darren Sharper coming in hot with a jersey soaked in Chloroform couldn’t stop him. And when that happens I require a minimum of 10 seconds where I can say or do whatever I want and it has no consequences. There’s simply control when you’re in that video game mindset. Combine that with some little POS talking trash through his step-dad’s headseat while throwing a streak to Dez Bryant every play would make me go punt toddlers to the moon. Damn this world and EA Sports.

Throwback to quite possibly the best Madden conniption in recent history. Not even God will let the Browns win in a fake world.

Also, shout outs to Chris Gocong and Kevin Kolb. Let’s hope those Andy Reid products are far, far away from the league before Howie and Doug get any ideas and get interested in more Big Red washouts.

PS – Taking A Knee To Run Out The Clock In Madden Is Perfectly Acceptable And If You Don’t Agree You’re Not A Winner In Life. Fact.