Kurt Angle Revealed That Jason Jordan Is His Estranged Son On RAW
You know, I’m getting a tattoo on Thursday. It was discussed briefly on Barstool Radio last week, but it’s a turnbuckle (the DEFEND INDY WRESTLING logo) to represent my love of wrestling. Seriously. Not kidding. Last night’s RAW made me want to tattoo “WRESTLING IS FAKE” on my forehead. Let’s get it over with.
The Red Team opened up with a heater of a segment, where Dean and Seth FINALLY addressed the Shield breakup as “friends”. Since Seth Rollins turned face, he’s teamed with Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns, and other than giving each other weird looks for lukewarm crowd reactions, they’re just cool with each other. Years of betrayal and feuding, but now that they’re both “good guys”, they’re cool. That never sat right with me, because it only takes one segment to reverse that and make things okay. This segment did that. Both Rollins and Ambrose excelled and displayed GREAT emotion. The Miz stuff after was pretty meh, just because I’m tired of it, but thumbs up overall.
We got more of Finn Bálor and Elias Sampson, which I complained about to great lengths last week, but the end is in sight for this feud…and it’s Finn vs Bray. Demon King vs Eater Of Worlds. Sad. BUT, Elias Sampson hit Bray with his guitar and that was fucking awesome! I’m a huge mark for when Jeff Jarrett used to just clobber 10 fools a week with his endless supply of balsa wood guitars, so I hope Sampson does the same. Need more EXPLOSION though.
Quick thing on the cruiserweight matches:
NO PURPLE ROPES! Thank you!
The more Summerslam grows closer, the more I think the match is Big Show vs Big Cass, with Enzo in Show’s corner. Decent segment nonetheless.
KURT ANGLE AND HIS MILLION YARD ‘GET OUT’ STARE REVEALED THAT JASON JORDAN IS HIS LONG LOST SON.
WHAT IN THE FUCK. This was horrible. So horrible. Everything about it. Both of them crying and being so happy in the ring. The stupid suits that made it look like an episode of Maury. EVERYTHING!!!
Jordan’s now on RAW just because his “dad” is the GM. Angle Privilege. SMFH. Gable might be stuck on Smackdown with nothing to do, resulting in one of the biggest botched NXT call ups of all time with this tag team. Why couldn’t Kurt just play mentor to American Alpha and rename them Team Angle? That would work, and we could’ve done without the hokey family reunion shit.
Oh, and I confirmed that this came directly from Vince McMahon and was his push from the very beginning. Writers were not in favor.
This felt like something out of a dying WCW. Made me wanna die.
I’m still fired up about that last segment. I liked the bump one of the Revivals took.
I’m not a pervert but I think it’s weird when Alexa wrestles in her shirt instead of her gear. It looks lazy to me. Still a babe though, obviously.
BRAUN’S NOT FUCKING FINISHED WITH YOU YET!!! Let’s gooooooo! This Summerslam Fatal Four Way is going to be, how you say, “lit af”. I expended all of my energy talking about the Angle segment so I don’t have much on this. It was great.