Miko Grimes Explains How She Went Nuts on Social Media to Get Brent Out of Miami
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SI did a profile of Bucs’ corner Brent Grimes and national treasure/my Internet wife Miko Grimes. She’s asked about her spectacular social media game going back to his days with Miami that featured such masterpieces as:
i knew this qb stunk the minute we signed to this team but i tried to keep quiet so i didnt discourage bae from believing in his team.
— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) December 27, 2015
and:
the triple A’s: armando, andrew and adam. fuck all three of yall with magic johnson’s dick!
— Miko Grimes (@iHeartMiko) December 27, 2015
… and gives the greatest explanation possible:
Presumably plenty of wives have gotten their husbands traded or released. Miko is the only one who will brag about it. “People say I got him cut with my mouth,” she says. “Duh! That was the goal!” According to Miko, the Dolphins had told Brent he had to take a pay cut; if he declined, they would wait until other teams used up all their cap space and then release him. (A Dolphins spokesman says that these discussions never happened.) At home, Brent said he’d sooner retire. But Miko wasn’t going to let that happen—instead she would get him run out of town by going “as wild as possible on social media.” Her version of what happened next: “[Brent] said, ‘Go for it.’ I got his full permission to be as disrespectful to the Dolphins as I wanted to be. And I threw in Tannehill because I don’t like him or his wife.”
A few days after Brent was released, he signed a two-year deal with the Bucs that guaranteed him a below-market $7 million. Later that off-season Miko directed another broadside toward Miami, first tweeting that the Dolphins “f—— stink” and then blasting Ross for “keeping his jew buddies”—football operations boss Mike Tannenbaum—employed.
Better still, she assures the public that she only stopped Instagramming her birthday porn cakes (link NSFWish) at the request of Joe Philbin. Meaning that next week, on July 19th they should make their triumphant return. We can only hope. Our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.
And once again I find myself in awe of this remarkable woman. And saying that every man worthy of his Y-chromosome deserves to have a woman like her standing by his side. Willing to do anything to help her man. No bridge too important to burn. No thought too dirty to post on social media. No one standing in her husband’s way left safe. And absolutely, positively zero fucks given. If Miko wasn’t already spoken for and if I had eyes for anyone but my own comely Irish Rose, I’d be proposing to her right now. Instead, I’ll just continue to be as big a fan of hers as she is of Brent’s. And dream of a day he signs with the Patriots and all these blogs just write themselves.
@jerrythornton1
