I Gotta Tip My Cap To Peyton Manning's Self-Deprecation At The ESPYs

I watched the ESPYs last night, like I do every year along with all the other 10 year olds reading an issue of SI for Kids and thinking it was actually a night of importance. Every year I’m duped into watching, every year I’m wondering why the fuck am I doing this? within a half hour. But, I continue watching because the ESPYs are proof that if you take sports away then men are no different than misbehaving toddlers: put us in front of the tv and turn it on, doesn’t matter what channel or anything, and we’ll sit there staring at it. We don’t have to like or understand what we’re watching, as long that light is emanating from the screen we will be under a spell.

Despite the general uselessness of the ESPYs, which really only serve to make us sad, there was one highlight: Peyton Manning poking fun at himself (or allowing Edelman to) when it comes to the Patriots. I really don’t hate Peyton Manning, I respect him, but it still makes me happy to see him admit who’s the real king of football.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly breaking news that Peyton can do well in a skit as that United Way SNL sketch is still one of the better sports ones out there, but nothing warms my heart like seeing Peyton bend the knee and kiss the ring. These skits were funny and the highlight of the night aside from our man Jarrius looking like a million bucks and having more charisma than the rest of us have combined.