Florida Bro Loses His Shit on Flight to China and Tries to Open Emergency Exit; Plane Forced to Return to US

The Wonton Don7/10/2017 7:00 PM

(That’s Shanghai) “The 23-year-old American attacker, Joseph D. Hudek IV from Tampa, Florida, tried to open the exit door on the Boeing 767, sparking a brawl with flight attendants and passengers who used bottles of wine and zip ties to attempt and subdue him.

Two flight attendants tried to subdue him, but he reportedly shoved them away and moved the emergency release lever halfway up. A flight attendant later said that the door could have been opened had it been fully disarmed at that altitude.

As the fight escalated, another flight attendant grabbed two bottles of wine and hit Hudek with both. One of the one liter bottles shattered over his head. Hudek, unfazed, responded by asking, “Do you know who I am?”

Hudek had been sitting in first class on Delta Airlines Flight 129 on a dependent pass — commonly used for air travel by family members of employees. (FBI officials declined to comment on whether Hudek was related to a Delta employee). His grandfather says Hudek was heading to Beijing to visit a friend.”

The fucking balls on Hudek the Fourth to drop a “Do you know who I am?” in this scenario. Sorry bud but there is literally not a soul on planet earth you could be that would make it ok for you to open the emergency exit on this plane and murder everyone on board. But since you asked. Yes, I do know who you are. Your Great Grandfather was Joseph Hudek the First. I’m sure he was hardworking and successful, eventually amassing a large enough fortune that the next three generations of his family would never have to work. Unfortunately, this resulted in each new Joseph Hudek becoming more lazy and sociopathic than the last, ultimately resulting in your demon seed ass trying to turn everyone’s aviation nightmares into reality.

Listen, I get it, flying isn’t for everyone. That’s why if a friend says he doesn’t want to come visit me in China I’ll just leave it at that. Big Cat is on record saying he would never come to China as the flight is too long. I suggested to Carrabis that he come with me to Japan to meet Manny and he told me the thought of international travel terrified him. That’s fine. You do you. I don’t want to end up like Hudek’s friend in Beijing watching an international incident unfold thinking to myself “Yeeaaa probably shouldn’t have convinced that kid to come visit me. He always has been a loose cannon.”

Personally tho, I think international flights are a breeze. These days almost all include complimentary beer and wine as well as a personal entertainment screen with hundreds of movies and TV shows. Just take xanax or poor man’s xanax (NyQuil and two glasses of wine, probably not great for the liver) and sleep for 6 to 8 hours, watch movies and TV shows for another 4 hours, eat some food, head to the bathroom a couple times to stretch the legs, and BOOM you’re preparing to land. However, by the looks of it, Hudek may have taken something a little stronger than Xanax.

According to a federal complaint, Hudek ordered one beer before the flight’s takeoff and showed no signs of intoxication. Around an hour into the flight, as the plane was cruising over Vancouver, he briefly ducked into the bathroom. He then came out to ask a flight attendant a question before going back to the lavatory for around two minutes. As he walked out, he lunged towards an emergency exit door and attempted to grab the handle to open it.

Normally, I wouldn’t suggest drugs as an explaination for this type of behavior. Seems like a cop out and usually the real reasons run much deeper. But we need to keep in mind this kid is from Florida, and if there is anywhere in the world that has drugs with the ability to turn someone into a violent psychopath in the blink of an eye, its the Sunshine state.