Advice To Security Guards: Don't Kick Homeless Guys Out Of McDonalds At 4AM Or They'll Fuck You Up

Look man, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but if you could humor me for a second then let me tell you how to do your job: don’t. Don’t do it at all. When the highly esteemed McDonald’s manager asks you to eject a homeless man from the premises at 4 AM simply respond, “I’d rather not” and continue reading your Maxim magazine.

You make minimum wage, man. You’re going to put your life on the line and fight a man with literally NOTHING to lose for minimum wage? That’s insanity. A security guard is like a security camera that’s not even plugged into a recording device, they’re not their for actual security, they’re there for the appearance of it. If you don’t have a gun and an army then don’t fuck with homeless guys.

ESPECIALLY don’t fuck with homeless guys at 4 in the morning. He’s finally got some peace and quiet, there aren’t people walking by and giving him the stink eye and spitting on him, he’s resting comfortably in the ball pit and you want to tell him he’s gotta go? Waking a homeless man is like waking a sleepwalker, you’re putting your own life into the hands of an unreasonable person and asking them to be reasonable. It’s not going to end well for you. You’re gonna get powerslammed onto the sidewalk then dragged back through the doors and get your head beaten in front of someone trying to order a Big Mac. It’s no way to live life.