Sticking Glitter Bombs In Your Vagina Is Beautiful Yet Dangerous, Doctors Warn

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Gynecologists are warning against a bizarre new trend which sees women inserting glitter-filled capsules into their vaginas, concerned that it could have potentially dangerous side effects.

An online retailer is selling controversial capsules designed to glitter-bomb your bits, proving that the unicorn trend has officially peaked.

Essentially created to make your vagina look and taste better – because they’re clearly not fine just as they are – the Pretty Woman Inc website says that the capsules “just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!”

I am much too woke to even suggest to women what they should or shouldn’t do to their vaginas, but don’t ever stick glitter up there, ladies!

Look, I love glittery shit as much as the next guy, but I dont need to see the coochie all bedazzled. I dont need some kind of super human, Tinkerbell ass coochie to get the blood flowing. A natural vagina is fine! It’s good!

I would hate to see an outbreak of infections take place because women the world over are being haphazard with their private parts. Would I like to have a glittery dick from time to time? Sure. It’s the little things that make you feel good, but genital health is far too important to be lackadaisical about.


Now, if we wanna come to some sort of compromise and use glittery lotion AROUND again AROUND the vagina, I think that’s ok. No matter what solution we come to, fellas, it’s important to remember that just because the pussy glimmers doesn’t mean it’s gold.