Sticking Glitter Bombs In Your Vagina Is Beautiful Yet Dangerous, Doctors Warn

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Gynecologists are warning against a bizarre new trend which sees women inserting glitter-filled capsules into their vaginas, concerned that it could have potentially dangerous side effects.

An online retailer is selling controversial capsules designed to glitter-bomb your bits, proving that the unicorn trend has officially peaked.

Essentially created to make your vagina look and taste better – because they’re clearly not fine just as they are – the Pretty Woman Inc website says that the capsules “just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!”

I am much too woke to even suggest to women what they should or shouldn’t do to their vaginas, but don’t ever stick glitter up there, ladies!

Look, I love glittery shit as much as the next guy, but I dont need to see the coochie all bedazzled. I dont need some kind of super human, Tinkerbell ass coochie to get the blood flowing. A natural vagina is fine! It’s good!

I would hate to see an outbreak of infections take place because women the world over are being haphazard with their private parts. Would I like to have a glittery dick from time to time? Sure. It’s the little things that make you feel good, but genital health is far too important to be lackadaisical about.

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Now, if we wanna come to some sort of compromise and use glittery lotion AROUND again AROUND the vagina, I think that’s ok. No matter what solution we come to, fellas, it’s important to remember that just because the pussy glimmers doesn’t mean it’s gold.