John Mayer Doesn't Give A Fuck That Katy Perry Is Still Trying To Smash
USA TODAY - Katy Perry may have ranked John Mayer as tops of her ex-lover list. But Mayer just doesn’t care.
Rolling Stone magazine asked Mayer what he thought of the odd Perry compliment which surfaced earlier this month.
“I don’t have a cool-enough thought for you. I’ve hacked this game. I pay very little of the price of fame now,” Mayer told the music magazine. “I get to play the music that moves me the most. I’m having the time of my life. I’m 39 – I remember 32. I don’t wanna do it again.”
According to Entertainment Weekly, TV talk show host James Corden asked Perry to rank three ex-lovers according to their sexual performances, from worst to best. During the June 12 appearance, Perry listed Diplo, whom she dated in 2014, first. Then she listed Orlando Bloom.
Mayer, whom Perry was involved with on-and-off through 2015, was the last man mentioned, thus the winner of the Perry prize.
Doesn’t it feel good to know you were right about something? Because that’s how I feel about John Mayer. I wouldn’t want Mayer (my guy) to go rushing back into Katy Perry’s arms just because she threw him in first place over Orlando Bloom and Diplo in a ranking of exes who’s dick she misses the smell of. (I didn’t want to end a sentence with a preposition there, but all bets are off when we start talking penis scents.)
The play was clearly to win Mayer back, but that’s not happening after we all saw Katy Perry deflate a nation’s-worth of boners during her performance with the Migos.
It happened on Saturday Night Live, but folks, Katy Perry’s sex appeal seems pretty dead.
It seems Mayer has moved on to something a little more exotic, as he has most recently been linked to actress Natalie Morales.
Sorry KP, no matter how big your bagaloons might be, when Johnny wants something from south of the border, Johnny gets something from south of the border.
For a full dose of Mayer talk, pup in to today’s Happy Burst, where Caleb and I get deep into the Mayor of Mayerville’s sexual dalliances.
Among the other subjects we get into: are bitcoins made of meat?
And finally, the absolute shirt of the summer — the purple Young and Happy tye dyed tees — are finally in. Buy one because they look good. Buy one because they smell hilariously good. Buy one because it will finally enable Mike the Bike to finally stop living in a chicken coup behind a Bushwick halal restaurant. But mostly, buy one for yourself.
