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Pete Chiarelli Is Pretty Terrible At This Whole GM Thing, Huh?

Edmonton Oilers -- Jordan Eberle and Taylor Hall

Little bit of breaking news here. The New York Islanders landed Jordan Eberle from the Oilers in return for Ryan Strome. I’m not gonna talk much about the trade itself because that’s what we have ConIsles for. He’ll have it broken down for all you Isles fans out there but I think he may have passed out from all the blood rushing to his cock after this trade was announced.

What I’m here to talk about right now is what a Johnny Jerkoff Pete Chiarelli has been since taking over the GM role for the Edmonton Oilers. The man was gifted a generation talent in Connor McDavid. I could be GM of the Oilers and have success just because McJesus is leading the way. So let’s take the whole “getting the Oilers to the playoffs for the first time in 11 years” thing off the table because that has nothing to do with Chiarelli.

What Peter Chiarelli has done aside from land McDavid in the draft is go back-to-back for Most Questionable Move Of The Year in June 2016 and June 2017. Last year we all knew Taylor Hall was likely on the move. There was no need for him anymore in Edmonton and they figured they’d trade him while his value was still at its highest. So Pete Chiarelli put on his general managing pants, called up the New Jersey Devils and sent them Taylor Hall for Adam Larsson. Not Adam Larsson and any picks or anybody else. Just Adam Larsson. A fine defenseman but not even remotely close to the same value as an elite level LW.

Next on deck today. Pete Chiarelli woke up this morning. He had his eggs and bacon for breakfast. Sunny-side up per usual. Took the dog out for a walk. Illegally donwloaded some Metallica songs off the world wide web. Called up the New York Islanders and sent them Jordan Eberle for Ryan Strome. Not Ryan Strome and any picks or anybody else. Just Ryan Strome. As if this shit dick has no idea trades don’t just have to be 1-for-1 player swaps.

Now the thinking behind this deal is the Oilers need to shed cap space for the eventual McDavid deal on the way. He’s got one year left on his ELC and then your guess is as good as mine as to how much he’ll be making after that. He’s a 20-year-old Art Ross and Hart Memorial Trophy winner. He’s the face of the league and the face of that franchise. The kid is going to get fucking paid. The Oilers also have Leon Draisaitl to pay as well. But still. If you’re just giving away Jordan Eberle basically for free just to open up some cap space? Sounds like a good ol’ fashion case of incompetence to me.

And now the rest of the Metro just has to sit here and suffer while Peter Chiarelli gives away charitable donations to the Devils and Islanders as if the division is a bunch of starving children in Africa.