Fuck Phil Jackson.

So Phil Jackson had a brief interview with Al Trautwig, Alan Hahn and Wally Sczfdfsafjdskljfklsdjrewobiak on MSG that kind of came out of the blue. I saw this tweet come across my timeline and I almost passed out from excitement because I thought it said “steps down” instead of sits down.

Anyway, to nobody’s surprise it wasn’t the most hard hitting of interviews since James Dolan owns MSG and people that work in places like MSG or communist Russia don’t deal with unbiased media. To be fair, they asked about Porzingis trade rumors and Phil gave us this nonsense.

Uhhhh hey Zen Master, it’s the fat asshole blogger sitting on his couch at home that has watched you pick up the torch from Scott Layden and Isiah Thomas to continue to burn this franchise further into the depths of basketball hell. Why would you trade a 7’3″ stretch 5 that is basically the ideal create-a-player that can shoot threes and protect the rim for “future” assets? Would you like to give me a winning $10 million for a couple of expensive scratch off tickets that could win you $100 million? Because if so, lets dance Zen Master. The liquor store here in Winterfell is open late.

The fact of the matter is I think most of these Porzingis rumors are because he skipped out on that meeting with Phil and the flunkies (I can see Kurt Rambis feeding Phil grapes with one hand as he looks at dildo pics on Twitter in the other). Coaching some of the best NBA players ever, including two of the most psychotic win-driven players ever, is a lot easier than building a team. Especially when you act like an asshole to the star player your young stud likes. Phil could get away with being a cantankerous motherfucker when he had MJ and Kobe on his squad. You can’t do that as an exec of a shitty team in the NBA where the players have the power. Welcome to 2017, Phil. Everyone hates you here. Especially this guy.

Oh and that “nobody ever skipped an exit meeting with me”? Complete bullshit.

sh

You don’t forget fucking SHAQ skipping an exit meeting if you are Phil Jackson. Dude is Dolan by extension. Lies and incompetence.

Now THAT’S how you troll.

Well played JoJo, even if you are alllllways hurt and the Sixers could have had KP but went with the immortal Jahlil Okafor instead.

Then we got this soundbite about Phil’s time in New York.

Hey Phil, it’s the tubby asshole on his couch again. First of all this isn’t doing my blood pressure any favors, but that’s another story for another time. Not to bring up a coach that actually knew how to build a team and win in New York, but Bill Parcells used to say you are what your record says you are. And your 80-166 record in the three full seasons you’ve been here says you are a pile of donkey dicks sitting in a bucket of shit.

And don’t act like you are Sam Hinke trusting the process and building through youth. Your biggest moves last offseason were trading for Derrick Rose’s broken down body, signing Joakim Noah’s corpse to a FOUR YEAR CONTRACT, and picking up a 31-year-old Courtney Lee. The thought of this being a youth movement despite appearing to hit on KP (who they want to trade at the age of 21), Slick Willy, and Kuzi is laugh out loud funny (give your Euro scout a raise and a blowjob by the way). If you wanted to ensure you could get the best young asset possible, you should have done what every franchise with a brain does and tank your team tank its dick off in the name of ping pong balls. The fans of New York wouldn’t even mind. In fact we would encourage it. Nobody’s going to remember a win against Philly in April if we missed out on a stud by 1 pick because of that win. Phil shouldn’t have a job anymore here, let alone be picking out who will play for this team in the future when he’s trying to get back together with Jeanie Buss. Just another joke from the top (Dolan) on down.

Phil talked about Melo and Derrick Rose but it honestly was nothing all that interesting. They need to get something of worth back for Melo and not let Rose anywhere near this roster next season.

And to anyone asking, yes I have seen this tweet.

About 1,000 times via various quote retweets from Knicks fans threatening to hang themselves to Celtics fans cumming their pants. I am choosing to ignore it until Woj drops the actual Woj Bomb on my head and my brains are splattered everywhere. Hopefully on Facebook Live during tomorrow’s Barstool Draft Show so we at least get some pageviews and funny gifs out of it.

You know the rest.