The transformation is complete! Seeing Ben reveal the haircut heard ’round the world was like watching Anakin Skywalker put on the Darth Vader suit for the first time. A powerful force somehow becoming even more intimidating by changing its appearance. But throwing product in that lovely batch of lettuce is like Vader putting on that epic helmet on the top of his noggin. There is no turning back from here. Benny has gone full Jersey on us a day after a Sopranos prequel rumor hit the streets. Now he needs to figure out which Jersey shore town is “his spot”, start calling tomato sauce “gravy”, yelling “Ohhhhh” after every big hit in practice, and calling mozzarella “Mootzalell”. Goombah Benny may be my favorite Benny Mac yet. Gotta get him one of those old switchblade combs to make the look complete.
And I’m not saying hair gel can win you a Super Bowl. But hair gel, Playoff Eli, the best receiving corps in football, and a defense that looks like it is going to be a fucking MACHINE definitely win you Super Bowls. With an S at the end. Lets go get it fellas! See you in Minnesota come February!