MTV Has Released The Trailer For The Next Season Of The Challenge And It Looks Pretty Fucking Good
You have to be an old fashioned hater if you don’t think that trailer looks awesome. Or you don’t watch The Challenge, in which case I have to ask why the fuck you clicked this blog. But if you are a veteran of viewing The Challenge, you also know that MTV thrives in their production and editing to make someone farting seems like the greatest moment in TV history. Not hating, but just spitting the truth. As we’ve mentioned on the No Quitters podcast countless times, The Challenge has been hurting a bit the last few years. Basically once we started the podcast to be honest. I don’t know if it’s because of the arrival of Are You The One cast members, classic/crazy cast members getting older, different producers, the show being old as fuck, or a mix of everything. But nonetheless, MTV knows they have to step their game the fuck up and it appears they did by bringing together (most of) the most low-down, dirty, ruthless vatos in Challenge history for this Dirty Thirty season (Fun fact: XXX was the original #nice number for the Romans). Any Challenge that doesn’t have Coral “I Beat Bitches Up” Smith cannot be considered the baddest Challenge possible.
Anyway, I think MTV is going all in with this Challenge and the cast is certainly good enough to potentially give us a vintage season even though it’s only been like what, 2 months since the previous season ended? Give us a fucking chance to catch our breath, MTV. These bags under my eyes from podcasting until 11 at night aren’t going to get rid of themselves.
Some quick thoughts on the cast:
– As is the deal with Coral, a show featuring the dirtiest players ever needs to include Wes and this comes from someone that wants to rip his eyes out and ears off when Wes is on TV. But you can’t have a dirty thirty season without a Top 5 dickhead in Challenge history (that was a compliment to Wes. I think). Having to hear about his kabillion companies and the monster trucks he drives around in is always a highlight of the season and seeing if his body resembles Pre-1996 Brady Anderson or 1996 Brady Anderson is always fascinating.
And nothing beats when Wes tried to go at CT and CT turned the tables on his ass so fast it made his ginger head spin.
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– Last season we had Sober Tony. Sober Tony is good for real life but Sober Tony STINKS on television. I don’t know if Drunk Tony returns this season, but he sure as fuck appears to in that trailer.
– Regardless of if Drunk Tony is back or not, Tony’s brother Shane has returned to The Challenge and I could not be more thrilled. Shane Raines is an absolute wild card of sass and electricity like most people with rhyming names. So many highlights in so little airtime. Shane is basically Miggy Cabrera when he was playing against the Yankees in the World Series at the age of 20. Sooooo much potential here.
– Speaking of gay guys named Shane, it looks like our boy Shane Landrum (of the famed group Shane and the Gals) won’t be on this season. This makes me sad. I imagine JJ is devastated.
– HOWEVAAAAAA, The Many Faced Goddess is back. Can’t lie, I’m pretty excited for what Nicole’s Mrs. Doubtfire makeup bag has in store for us this season.
– It’s wonderful that Cory and Diaper Breath are back for another Challenge together. The Romeo and Julie of The Challenge, except with popcorn muscles and a shit ton of cigarettes replacing olde English Shakespeare.
– Oh Ashley is back except with an inflated self worth (and more) after winning last season? Be right back.
– And Freckle Tits?!?!
– Annnnnnnnd Nelson?
Groundhog Day is a fucking classic.
– A Bananas on a 2-show losing streak (he lost to Wes on Champs vs. Pros which is not a true Challenge imho) is a dangerous Bananas. Especially with some of the heavy hitters on this season. Can’t wait to see the bullshit he pulls here, especially with a bunch of OGs in the house. He’s no longer playing puppet master to people like Cory and Zach.
– Veronica was one of the baddest bitches back in the day, even though she almost shit herself when Julie tried to legitimately murder her.
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Still though, happy she’s back.
– It looks like Dad CT is back since there is no video proof of Face Eating CT being back. They wouldn’t leave that out of the trailer. I’m fine with it as long as we have some sort of CT in front of the camera. Not nearly enough of him last season.
– Face Eating Camila is back since I’m pretty sure that’s the only Camila that exists. Love the Camilanator.
– Darrell was sneaky the MVP of last season in my book. Didn’t do a ton, but everything he said or did was magic. Plus he beat Bananas in a gauntlet duel elimination round.
– Welcome the fuck back Derrick you crazy pitbull you!
– Devin is the Bananas of the Are You The One crew. Yeah it’s not saying much, but he’s better than basically anyone else we would get from that show.
– Am I excited to see Jenna back? Of course. Does it hurt that she visited HQ after I left, potentially on purpose? Definitely. Can you still be America’s Sweetheart after hooking up with a homeless guy? No way Jose. That shit is in the Constitution, even if you drop lightning bolts like this on Instagram.
– WELCOME BACK ROY LEE!!! Challenges involving water haven’t been the same without you!
– Still no Miz. Sad!
– Still no Mark Long. Even sadder!
– At least we still have the GOAT host
LOVE THAT GUY
However I’m not going to lie, the fact Buzzfeed was given the exclusive rights to this trailer hurts. A lot. MTV is now on the list of the people I’m not feeling. I’ve watching this show since Year 1, through thick and thin, from Crazy CT to Dad CT, from the Pre-Evan and Kenny years to the Post-Evan and Kenny years, and through Johnny Bananas ascent to the most decorated reality star ever. But I may be #done with The Challenge after this act of betrayal. I can live with having to podcast three awful seasons in a row or MTV using my podcast as its own personal suggestion box for future seasons without any kickback. But I can’t deal with betrayal. I’ve seen it happen too many times, ironically on The Challenge, usually by Johnny Bananas. This isn’t a game, this is real life!
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Okay, I’m starting to actually sound like one of the people on The Challenge, but the fact remains I’m hurt MTV. It would be a real shame if the podcast that gives you ideas for future seasons stopped recording one day.
So to anyone from MTV who is reading, let me lay this out there for you clearly in Hyman Roth’s terms. I’m going in to take a nap. When I wake, if CT’s in a podcast studio at Barstool HQ, I’ll know I have a partner. If he isn’t, I’ll know I don’t.
Oh yeah and