The 'Bachelor In Paradise' Cast Has Been Released! Here's a Breakdown
Here we go! The Bachelorette is obviously still going on but that doesn’t mean we can’t do a little Bachelor In Paradise talk. For those of you who don’t know what Bachelor In Paradise is, they basically take cast offs from The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, put them on an island in Mexico, feed them an endless supply of booze (shoutout to Jorge the bartender) and see what kind of chaos ensues. I think it’s the least-watched of The Bachelor programs but it is my absolute favorite. Bar none. It takes out all the weird “I’m looking for love” shit and is just mainlined Bachelor drama. It’s great. And they have officially released this season’s roster.
Here are some of the notables
Raven
Smooooooooooke. Raven was one of the finalists on Nick’s season and got the short end of the stick (or long end depending on how you feel about that loser Nick). She appeared on The Bachelorette the other night as Rachel’s friend. She’s from the south. She’s a sweetheart. She’ll fall for the wrong guy on Paradise.
Amanda S
Well look who’s back! This is like Amanda’s 400th appearance on a Bachelor program. She most recently was on last season’s BIP where she made the horrible mistake of linking up with Josh Murray. All they did was make out 24/7 and it was gross. Well make out and then weather Josh’s frequent fits of rage. The funniest thing about Amanda is that she has two young kids who she never sees apparently. She must HATE those kids. She jumps at every opportunity to leave them for 6 weeks at a time. I mean I get it, kids are terrible, but it’s weird for her to have the “I’m a mom” storyline when she’s never there. And when she is there she brings around dudes like Josh Murray.
Alexis
Shark girl. Darling of the internet. I feel like she’s also a wild card. I could see Alexis getting all types of hammered and causing mass chaos. She’s sneaky the one I’m most looking forward to seeing. I think she’s gonna thrive/get blackout drunk and have a blast in Paradise.
Lacey
And here I thought her and I had something special.
Kristina
With all due respect to Rachel, this was my pick for who should’ve been The Bachelorette this season. Kristina has it all. She’s incredibly good looking, she has an accent and has easily the best back story of just about anyone who has ever walked through those mansion doors. She was an orphan and ate lipstick to survive! I honestly think she’s too good for Bachelor In Paradise. I don’t want to see her anywhere near that island. She’s too classy and awesome to be at that scummy place. If anyone breaks her heart you should be prepared for me to tweet numerous mean things to that person. That is my promise.
Alex
FUUUUUUUUUCK THIS GUY. He’s the worst. It takes a real douche bag to go up against Chad and come out looking like a bigger douche bag. Alex somehow accomplished that.
Corinne
Easily the most tailor-made Bachelor In Paradise person to ever go on the show. Michael Jordan was born to play basketball. Abraham Lincoln was born to take naps. Corinne was born to go on Bachelor In Paradise. That’s really all you can say. It’s a place where drunk, crazy people thrive and Corinne checks both of those boxes. She’s gonna be a tornado of greatness on the show.
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “Where’s Chad?” Great question. As of right now, he’s nowhere to be found on the BIP cast. Which is a shame because him and Corinne couldn’t be more perfect for each other. I also sneaky think he’s gonna show up anyway. I could see ABC leaving him off the initial roster and then springing him on us outta nowhere. That’s what I would do. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of crazy Chad by any stretch of the imagination.