Can You Think Of A Worse Way To Die Than This 450 Pound Woman Trying To Suffocate Another Chick With Her Fat?

So right off the bat, I won’t question the effectiveness of Big Bertha’s approach. In fact, her fight style resembles at least one great warrior I can think of:

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And I mean no disrespect (aka don’t want this chick to come chase me down presumably like the boulder in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) but as I watched that gal on the floor trapped, unable to breathe, and literally no hope of wriggling out or pushing her off. If that lady wanted to stay there and get Seamless delivered the many many times she requires to feed that finely tuned diabetic machine, she could have plopped herself right on there as long as she wanted. And I don’t doubt she actually could have cracked the other girl’s ribs at the very least if not outright killed her if she wanted. And to me that seems like just about the worst way to die. You’re not only trapped like James Franco in 127 Hours, it’s under mounds of sweaty and possibly unpleasant smelling fat. And if you die via suffocation or crushing, the last thing you’ll see before that white light is her bulbous doughy mass gleefully smiling at you. Nightmare scenarios all around.

Anyway congrats on the victory lady but please use your powers for good i.e. pie eating contests or looking hilarious in overalls instead of evil moving forward.