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German Concert Goers Are Building A 4-Mile Long Beer Tunnel So They Can Have Beer At Their Festival

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Mashable- Metal heads are building a 7-km long, underground pipeline to send 400,000 litres of beer to a festival in northern Germany. No, that’s not a line from Jack Black’s latest movie, but an actual initiative put in place for Wacken Open Air Festival, the world’s biggest metal music festival. Organisers found out that the 75,000 metal fans who attend the event each year consume an average of 5.1 litres per person over the three day festival, according to statistics portal Statista. The pipeline, buried 80cm beneath the ground to keep the beer cold, will solve logistics problems of tracks going back and forth, ruining the festival ground. “In this way, we will no longer have to distribute truck loads of beer kegs across the premises each day,” festival spokeswoman Frederike Arns told Deutsche Press Agentur. The new pipeline will have enough pressure to pour six beers in six seconds.

Fucking Germany. They don’t have a stellar world history (this is in reference to Hitler in case you were wondering) but goddamn it do they love their beer. Nobody loves beer like the Germans love beer. The Irish can claim the drinking title but beer specifically? That’s all Germany. No innovation is too complex or impossible for them if it involves beer. This story proves it. Oh they can’t get beer to their rock metal concert this year? Damn that’s too bad. Guess it’ll be a dry concert. NOPE. Just kidding. The Germans will just build a 4-mile long tunnel so the booze will flow. I don’t know how it would work but the world should use the Germans loving beer to a societal advantage. Use it for the greater good. We could be like, “Alright Germany, we’ll let you brew all of the beer in the entire world if you cure cancer.” I bet they’d have that antidote before Memorial Day Weekend was over.

Not gonna lie, the only reason I blogged this is so I could throw in a Beerfest clip AKA the best move ever. The Godfather doesn’t hold a candle to Beerfest and I will hear no arguments to the contrary