The Music Video For Elton John's 'Tiny Dancer' Is Actually Quite Problematic

Jordie5/24/2017 4:25 PM

Previously today on Elton John Music Videos In The Year 2017

Personally, I’m not a big music video guy in general. But I actually don’t hate the idea of making new music videos for songs that are damn near 50 years old. The idea in theory is great. The execution on this one? Well… not so much.

For starters, none of it makes any fucking sense. It was so frustratingly random that it ruined the song for me completely. Tiny Dancer. An all-time great. Ruined in 6 minutes just like that. Which is usually my biggest beef with music videos. If the song is good but the video sucks, then the song sucks forever. But not only does the video not make any sense–it is also void of any sort of moral compass.

Example 1: It promotes vaping.

Vape Addiction is a real issue in this country and it’s been tearing families apart for months now.

Example 2: These youths are using marijuana while operating a motor vehicle. And we’re supposed to think this is “cool”?

Example 3: While those youths are “hot boxing” their car, this valet driver is committing grand theft auto.

A fireable offense at the very least.

Example 4: We’re supposed to think this dude isn’t about to fuck his pet snake?

I’ve seen a snake fucker a time or two in my day. This dude definitely fits the bill.

Example 5: Prostitution.

Example 6: This is either property damage or it’s insurance fraud. One way or another, this chick is probably gonna want to get a lawyer soon.

Example 7: These bitches aren’t paying attention to the road at all. But hey, at least they’re gonna get those Instagram likes.

Example 8: Getting a little nit-picky here but Twizzlers are empty calories. Plus they’re awful for your teeth.

Example 9: Maybe this is where I’m a little too woke. But with the way this music video went, it wouldn’t shock me to learn that this chick murdered whoever’s ashes are in this urn.