The Golden State Warriors Are Now 27-0 When Klay Thompson Plays After He Signed That Fan's Toaster In March
I blogged about Klay signing a toaster in March, filed it away as just some crazy ass autograph seeker acting like a weirdo, and went about my day. It never occurred to me that this was could be a good luck charm to propel the Warriors to another championship. Then I saw this stat on NBA Reddit and my jaw hit the floor. I knew the Warriors have only lost once in the last two months, but I didn’t realize the crazy winning streak started right around when Klay signed that magical toaster, with their only loss coming when Klay registered a DNP for rest against the Jazz. That is some real life Angels In The Outfield shit except the Warriors have been the best NBA team for years now and this kid is likely comfortably in the middle class instead of in a foster home based on his licensed toaster that he doesn’t even cook toast in.
Looking back, it’s clear that toaster was going to bring the Larry O’Brien Trophy back to Oakland. I believe in weird magic when it comes to sports. Yeah the athletes do a lot. But shit like the Rally Monkey and Nelson de la Rosa help win titles. You cannot tell me any different. Sure I believed in the Rally Dildo. But it turns out there wasn’t enough magic in that a giant black dildo was going to somehow ward off decades of bad luck, terrible ownership and Ray Ramirez to right the ship of the 2017 Mets. But pairing a magic toaster with 4 of the top players in the NBA, that’s how you go fo’, fo’, fo’, fo’. That’s not an NBA fan saying that. That’s a believer in sports magic saying that. The Cavs and Celtics are truly playing for the right to get swept in the Finals.
When you won the NBA championship in March and you didn’t even know it because you were signing some shlep’s fucking toaster.
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When you unknowingly locked up the NBA championship for your favorite team and have now inspired countless fans across the world to have players sign home appliances and other stupid shit.
Now if you will excuse me, I am going to bet every dollar I have on a Warriors sweep now before Vegas adjusts the odds and pray to every god ever created that Klay stays healthy for the entire Finals.